Birbal v/s Tansen
Suno bhaiyon ye baat hai Akbar k zamane ki…..
Usne 9 chutiye lu#doore paal rakhe the..
Popularly known as his 9 ratans…!!!
Birbal aur Tansen me bada Competition raha karta
tha…

EK din gusse me aake Tansen kehta hai ki “Ab faisla
ho hi jaye ki kaun zyada bada Ga#du hai???? main shart marta hoon ki main Jodha bai k boobs choos sakta hoon”
Birbal ki hans hans k Ga#d me dard ho gaya… Kehta hai ki “Agar toone aisa kar diya to agle din bhari sabha me mai nangaa aaunga”…
Bas fir hona kya tha lag gayi shart…
Tansen gaya bazaar, sapere k paas. kehta hai ki “Bhai, mujhe ek saanp chahiye, untrained aur bina zehar ka hona chahiye”.
Saanp khareed k Tansen usko ghar pe training dena shuru karta hai. ek aadmi ka putla banake saanp ko kehta hai ” BETA SAPPU uske tang pe kaat”. to sappu putle k taang pe ja k das leta hai…
Aise hi training karte karte sappu Tansen ka ishara dekh kar taang, haath gala ityadi ko dasna seekh jaata hai..
Jahan bhi Tansen ishara karta, Sappu waha das leta…..Training kar k sappu ab taiyar ho gaya Big Day k liye…
.
Ab baat aisi thi ki Akbar aur Jodha bai har subah apne bageeche me sair k liye nikalte the.
agle din subah Tansen bhi apne sappu k saath bageeche me ja pahuncha… aur jhadiyon me chhip gaya…
Jahaan panah aur begum ko aata dekh tansen ne sappu ko phat se nikal k zameen pe chhod diya aur
ishara Jodha bai k Boobs ki taraf kar k bola…..
“BETA SAPPU dikha apna kamaal ja das le rani k Boobs ko….. Sappu phat se gaya, begum ki taang par chadh k, maansal Jangho se gujer k ch~t ko par kar k seedha ja pahunchta hai Boobs k beech vali khai me vaha se plan k mutabik seedha left turn le k chadh jata hai Top pe aur ek second mein saali ko das leta hai nipple pe…..
Jodha chikhne lage” Are Mere ra#dibaaj Akbar kuch ker na ” Akbar to paagal ho gaya…” Arre bachao koi bachao meri begum ko saap ne das liya koi Bachoooo”
Tabhi Tansen nikla jhadiyon se, bhaag k gaya aur bola “Jahan panah ek Upay hai mere paas rani sahebaan ko bachane ka.
Main agar zehar choos kar bahar nikal doon to aap gussa hokar meri Ga#d to nahi katwa denge na??
Akbar bola Madar ch@d jo bhi karna ho jaldi kar but
meri begum ko bacha le… phir kya tha Tansen ne phat se Jodha bai ko pakda, uske kapde Ranjit ki tarah fade aur boobs bahar nikal kar chosnelaga….
aur poore k poore choos dale…( Aur idher -udher haath bhi maar liye harami ne)
Birbal ne ye baat suni to uski Ga#d se maano Rocket guzar gaya….
man hi man sochne laga Bhench@d kal to lut gayee izzat, bhare darbaar me nang dhadang jana padega….. Ga#d lag gayi… Usne khoob socha, baal khujlaye (upar k bhi neeche k bhi) lekin no idea… Ga#d jab khujayee to idea Lu#d ki tarah uchhal kar bahar aaya…
Agle din darbaar laga, Akbar ne sabke samne Tansen ki tareef ki aur kaha agar tansen me zehar choosne ki shakti nahi hoti to Jahan panah aaj randwe hote…. aur akele apne aap hilaa rahe hote….
Tansen on other hand cud not wait for Birbal to make an appearance… khushi k maare pagal ho raha tha ye soch kar ki jab Birbal bhare darbaar me nanga hokar aayega to Akbar ki Ga#d sharm se paani paani ho jayegi….YESSS….
wo birbal k Ga#d pe itne hunter maarenge ki Birbal ki 7 pushte muh se hagegi…. tabhi darbaar me hulchul machi… sabne dekha ki Birbal nanga hokar, apna lauda haath me pakde, daudta hua aa raha hai… Bas phir hona kya tha Akbar ki Ga#d gusse se LAAL ho gayi… bola “Birbal ye kya gustakhi hai???” teri himmat kaise hui aise nange aane ki??
Birbal bola “Haye Jahan panah mai mar gaya mujhe saap ne kaat liya …mere Lu#d pe..”
Akbar bola “Tansen ja choos Birbal ka Lu#d “

**************************************

A girl comes to late in shool:

Boys says: Chand taron ko neend aa rahi hain,teri ma ki chut tu ab aa rahi hain……

Girls says: Maa ki chut ka mat de wasta,kholti hun Bra chal kar le nasta………………

**************************************

Ansu tere nikle, to ankhen meri ho,Dil tera dhadke, to dhadkan meri ho,

Khuda kare dosti hamari itni gehri ho,Baap tu bane, to mehnat meri ho.

**************************************

Kuch kasme kiye the, kuch vaade kiye the,milenge har kidki darwaje ke peeche,

ae bewafa ek baar tu kah de mujhe Raja,teri choot ka main baja doonga bazaa…

**************************************

Boy to Girl: sex kartay hoay zyada maza larki ko aata hai ya
larkay koe? Girl: agar tum apnay kaan(ear) main ungle(fingure) dalo
gay to kaan ko maza aata hai ya unglee koe….

**************************************

ek ladki ki shaadi tai ho jati hai to uskeliye Dahej ka saman aata hai to wo double bed par baar baar letkar(kabhi lambai main kabhi chaurai main) dekhti hai

Beti : papa ye bistar to chhota hai

baap : nahi beti ye bistar ekdum theek hai

Beti : ye dekkho papa letne ke baad to ismein paon bhi seedhe nahi hote

Baap (tang hoker) : beti shaadi ke baad teri tangen seeedhi kaun hone dega

**************************************

Ek din bhagwan sharab peeny
zameen per aa giya 50 boltle peenay
k baad dukan wala bola
“ap ko charti nahi hay?”
bhagwan: main bhagwan hun
Club wala: charh gaye salay ko

**************************************

Kapil apne kutte k saath film ‘Sholay’ dekhne gia Hero ne kaha,
“Basanti in kutton k samne mut nachna!” Kapil bola ”
Ticket lia hai tera to bap bhi nache ga.

**************************************

Lady : Baccha nahin hone ke liye koi dawai di jiye na doctor sahab
Doctor: ye lo condom
Lady: Ise “Dudh” ke sath lu ya “Pani” ke sath?
Doctor: ise “Kele” ke sath lena. samjhai.

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One Response to “Adult shayari,Sexy sms”

  1. jeff Says:

    very quite sayri

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